Anger Isn’t Bad

Vishakha Boni, Educator

                                                         
To end this year on a beautiful note, Vishakha  Boni from Delhi has submitted another story to enlighten you and give you a better perspective on anger and it's management.

“When one forgives, two souls are set free.”- Unknown

How many of us want to get rid of their anger as a new years resolution? Quite many of us. Isn't it?
And why so? Is it because you lost that special someone due to your anger issues? Or is it because you quit your job in anger at your boss’s behaviour? Or did someone betray you and you ended up taking a very bad revenge?

Remember the last time you felt resentful or took umbrage at someone’s remarks or bubble with anger and indignation. What did you do? Cursed all the Gods above and wondered why it was you always at the receiving end of things? Livid at everyone in front of you? Felt like breaking and thrashing things around you? Or did you want to cry out loud?
Let me tell you a secret. Sometimes crying is not a sign of weakness. Crying heals. Tears come as a release that make up the first step to change. It means you are taking charge of your emotions and releasing them. Sometimes things get much better when we allow ourselves to feel an emotion. Similarly anger and resentment is a normal part of the human condition. As normal as love and hunger. It comes naturally and should be embraced. You must have heard people saying “kill the anger, it ruins everything!” I always wondered how does one kill something that is a crucial part of their being?

Then one day I read this somewhere “move the energy of the anger . It’s not good or bad, it’s just what wants to happen. When you make space for the energy and allow it to move through you, it transforms you. Just don’t get caught up in its story”
Separating anger from its energy. Yes! Anger’s energy is neutral. It doesn’t seek to blame or make anyone right or wrong. When I feel anger in my body , I feel a burning sensation, a warmth and a flow of intense energy. That’s it. It actually reconnects me to the strength in my core and reminds me that I’m powerful, capable and alive. I look at anger as a fiercely loving force which has the capability to transform me and make me more understanding, compassionate, empathetic, insightful, gentle, tolerant and warm.

The only mistake that we do is , get caught up in its story.  Start blaming others for our miseries, become destructive, hurt ourselves and people around us and as a result end up being in a low life state.
Anger can be incredibly destructive if we pay too much attention to its story. Anger arises when we forget that we already have everything that we need within us. When we start to seek it outside. When we tend to blame and curse others for not having answers to our questions. But if we use the energy of anger to forgive others rather than getting indulged in its story, Life becomes easier and more meaningful. Forgiveness is not something that we do for other people, it is something we do for ourselves to move on.

It was only when I decided to redirect anger’s energy towards forgiving others that I came to realise, letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. Had I not felt such a strong emotional upsurge, I wouldn’t have been able to direct its energy into forgiving someone who wasn’t even sorry and accept an apology I never received. Anger has allowed me to take back the power that is mine to treat myself with love and respect.
So friends, this new year try not to dwell on what went wrong. Instead focus on what to do next. Change all the negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Pray for the one’s you think have betrayed you as they need the most amount of love and prayers. Send love across anyone who needs it. Be warm and compassionate. The world needs more of that. And lastly spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer that is within you! ☺
On that note, Wish you a very  Happy New Year! ☺